Checkout this funny “who wants to be a millionaire question”, I bet you won’t know the answer

This hilarious meme picture of a young man’s opinion of where Nigeria is located has been the talk of the day

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See 10 Hilarious Mugabe Quotes that Will Make You Laugh and Roll on the Floor

Here are some top 10 Nigerian jokes ridiculously ascribed to the 92-year old long-term president of Zimbabwe, Robert Mugabe.

mugabe-quotes

In case you are having a very dry and boring day, these are some regular ‘Mugabe Quotes’ that could lighten up the moment for you.

Enjoy 10 of them and share with friends:

1. “Some women’s legs are like rumours, they just keep on spreading” .

2. “It’s hard to bewitch African girls these days because each time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire”.

3. “If you are ugly; you are ugly – stop talking about inner beauty because we don’t walk around with X-rays”.

4. “Dear sister, don’t be deceived by a man who text you “I miss you” only when it’s raining. You are not an umbrella” .

5. “It’s better for a man to be stingy with the money he has hustled for, than for a woman to deny you a hole that she didn’t even drill it herself.”

6. “Some of you girls can’t even jog for 5 minutes but expect a guy to last in bed with you for 2hours? Your level of selfishness demands a one week crusade”.

7. ”If women think having their period (menstruation) in a whole month is a difficult task, they should ask the men how difficult is it to control an erected Penis in public.”

8. “Some girls don’t attend the gym but look physically fit because of running from one man to another”.

9. “When you kiss a girl from another nationality, do it well because you represent the whole country”.

10. ”God is the best inventor ever. He took a rib from a man and created a loudspeaker”.

N.B: These quotes are not originally from President Robert Mugabe.

Hilarious! Checkout this creepy cake made for a newborn baby

This Instagram user ordered a $400 cake for his newborn nephew and this was what he received. He was so upset that he shared the photo below and wrote:

“I’m mad as shit. This bitch charge me 400 for this cake. I told the bitch make a cake of my newborn nephew and this bitch made me cake of a nigga that look like he play the saxophone”.

Hilarious! Father Advises son on a career to choose after reading his ribs cracking letter

See this ribs cracking reply a father gives to a son after reading his letter. It would surely make your day!

See this ribs cracking reply a father gives to a son after reading his letter. It would surely make your day!

Nigeria has become directionless, FG using capture of Sambisa to divert attention -Fayose

Ayodele Fayose, governor of Ekiti state, is wondering the effect of the the military’s conquest of Sambisa forest, asking how the development will help Nigerians who are hungry.

Fayose Described the federal governments euphoria and statements on dislodging of the sect from their stronghold as diversionary, Fayose asking it to proffer solutions to the hardship in the land instead.

He alleged that the country had become “directionless”, and that Nigerians were more desirous of hearing about the defeat of hunger.

“It has become predictable that whenever Nigerians cry of the pains and sufferings they are going through, the federal government will come with stories like: ‘20 Chibok girls found’, ‘$1 billion found in Mr A, B or C bedroom’, ‘Boko Haram technically defeated’, ‘We have captured Sambisa forest’, etc just to divert attention,” Fayose said in a statement issued on his behalf by Lere Olayinka, his spokesman.

“What Nigerians are now desirous of hearing from the All Progressives Congress (APC) led federal government is the defeat of hunger and untold hardship ravaging the country and not recycled stories of defeat of Boko Haram insurgents, which is as usual, aimed at diverting the attention of Nigerians from the fact that there is ravaging hunger at this time of the year.

“It is painful that Nigeria under President Muhammadu Buhari has become directionless either due to the cluelessness of the president or his old age that has foisted a purposeless leadership on the country.

“This year’s Christmas is the worse in the history of Nigeria. People cannot afford to celebrate and enjoy themselves due to the hardship caused by the APC government. To make matters worse, the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) also created artificial scarcity of cash, such that people could not access their hard earned money in the banks as most banks in the country do not have cash to pay their customers.

“Like I have maintained, the main issue confronting Nigerians now is hunger and hunger does not speak the language of political propaganda that is being used by the APC led federal government. It is therefore no longer about diversionary news, it is about preventing Nigerians from dying of hunger.”

Fayose said for the country to move forward, Buhari “must change his attitude from a vindictive military dictator to a civilian president of all Nigerians”.

He said the “cabal in the presidency has hijacked the president and his government”, and is now running the country aground

“The only solution to the myriad of problems facing the country is for those holding power in Abuja to face the sad reality that it was the hard stance of the president, his statements against Nigeria and its people both at home and abroad coupled with his demonstration of hatred against some sections of the country and desperation to crush his perceived enemies that led us to where we are today,” he said.

“It was the president that went to foreign countries to de-market Nigeria by calling all Nigerians thieves and dishonest people. He was the one who created atmosphere of economic and political instability in the country by his acts of nepotism and vindictiveness?

“They are not running the economy of Nigeria by the open participation of Nigerians but by some cabal, who see themselves as superior to others. By their failure to involve those who know more than them, they have succeeded in creating unemployment instead of three million jobs that they promised Nigerians per year. They have taken Nigeria back to the Stone Age and it will take several years for the country to recover, if it will ever recover.”

Hilarious! These 5 things can mar your chirstmas celebration this year

As much as you prepare for Christmas, some things just have a way of coming up to ruin your preparations. These are some of those things.

1: Your ATM card gets stuck in the machine on Sunday (Christmas morning).

Imagine running to the ATM machine to make withdrawal on Christmas morning with bae waiting in the car in anticipation of the Christmas outing, and after the 2nd trial, your card gets stuck. It hurts!

The most painful part will be if the girl is a new catch you were hopin to impress.

2: If your generator also decides to go on break.

You know na, for us that will have to spend Christmas at home, after loading your “I better pass my neighbour” with fuel full tank and getting your best movie, generator now starts coughing. Then iya biliki your neighbour will be be like “ehya, your gen no work? And today na our off o”

3: When bae decides she has new plans for the day

You must have spent a week planning for Christmas with bae, curving all your side chicks just to savour Christmas together, then on Sunday morning bea calls and be like

“Hello boo, mummy says the house fellowship will hold in our parlour and I will take the praise and worship”

You’ll just be like “house fellow gini?, on Christmas day?”

4: Seeing Your Period

This is the worst one. Just waking up and seeing your period as a lady on Christmas day! You’ll be like ” no please, just one more day off”

Mood swing, hormones raging…worst of all, you leave boo hanging in the cold after he must have taken alomo and tramadol. OMG!!

5: The Nigerian Tailor!

For those that are hoping on wearing a new tailor-made dress, and your tailor promises to get it ready on Christmas morning. Guess what? You get to her shop and alas! She hasn’t even cut the material – by 1pm. Chai.