(Episode 14) Mr Henry, the Captain Nigeria – Hilarious!

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First Lady on her bed-tossing and talking to herself. Chairman hadn’t been home for almost a week now,

First Lady: “Why would a man be this wicked, eh? What have I done wrong to deserve this inhumane treatment?” she hissed.

She picked up her phone and dialed “hubby” on her phone but the subscriber said;

The number you are dialing is not reachable at the moment, please try again later.

She tried it again and it gave quite a different answer,

The number you’re trying is switched off!

Those were the responses she has been receiving for couple of days. She was perturbed of course but she knew he was doing fine- he was avoiding her after that night’s incidence.

“He shouldn’t think he can run away from me. John I know you’d definitely come home once you’re done running!” she hissed and flung her phone on the bed.

Chairman was buttoning his well starched white regalia, Bridget rose up to him. He towered over the bed,

Bridget: “Still stay for one more night now!”

He shook his head,

Chairman: “I need to be home. I have punished your friend for so long!  She might be worried now, you know.”

Bridget was sulking,

captain-nigeria23

Bridget: “Forget her. She doesn’t care about you at all!”

He gaped at her,

Chairman: “Don’t say a thing like that!” seeing that he was bent to leave, she tried to kiss him but he didn’t respond,

“Not now, please! I’ve got to go!”

He took his brief case and left. She threw herself on the bed,

Bridget: “I know how to make you come back begging!” her plan was to get pregnant for him by all means. She didn’t mind if her friend would be disappointed or not- she wanted to be a part of his life. She had falling in love with him and wanted to have his child. Having spent days together she had checked that morning to see if the pregnancy test would be positive but to her disappointment it was negative. And wanted one more night for she was few days away from her monthlies.

She picked a phone.

….

The thought of Henry crept up in her heart,

“Where is the poor boy now? I’ll go to the station to see him”

A call interrupted her thought, she stretched her hand but withdrew,
“Maybe is that useless husband of mine. Why is he calling me after abandoning me for days eh?”

The phone rang twice but didn’t pick but picked up as it rang for the third time and it was Bridget,

“Bri-baby,owfa?”she feigned a sleepy voice.

Bridget: “Babe,owfa na?”

First Lady: “Fine oo! I haven’t seen you for a few days. Where you hide?”

Bridget: “I go workshop for Calabar!”

First Lady: “Wow, nice. You don show?”

Bridget yawning,

Bridget: “Just got back not too long!”

First Lady: “Wetin you carry come for me now?”

Bridget: “When I come see you tomorrow!”

They giggled, Öwfa with your sweet heart? Una don settle?”

First Lady heaved,

First Lady: “My dear, I haven’t seen him for days na oo!”

Bridget: “ah! Since when”

First days: “since that night we last saw!”

Bridget: “Na wa ooo. Men sef!”

First Lady heaved and hissed,

First Lady: “My sister how I go do now?”

The door tweaked opened, it was Chairman, “he just entered!” her face went grimace as he walked up to her and planted a kiss on her lips. She shrugged.

Bridget thinking of ways to make her friend fight with the husband,

Bridget: “Oh really?”

First lady: “Yes!” Chairman left her and entered the bathroom to shower,

Bridget: “Do you know henry is free?”

First Lady: “You’re joking right?” she was getting agitated,

Bridget: ”why would I joke with something like that. I heard it was your husband that ordered for his release!”

First Lady was steaming with anger,

First lady: “Why would he do such a thing without consulting me first!” she ran to the bathroom door and banged on it,

Chairman: “I’ll be right there with you baby. I’ll soon be done. It’s gonna be our best night,baby!”

First lady: “:John! John!!! I’m waiting for you here!”

Bridget could hear her yelling. She had forgotten to put off the phone. She stood by the door waiting.

Henry after so much pleading from the other driver and his passengers. Entered the car and drove away. He was worried,

Henry: “what would I tell Prof? My first day and I have already damaged the bumper?” And this Grammarian man (Prof) will start speaking his heavy grammar again! Mtcccheeww… he hissed.

Tears gathered in his eyes. He tried the number of the mechanic he used to take Chairman’s car to; it rang and he didn’t pick. He tried it again and it was the same response. Angrily he dropped the phone in his pocket. His passengers tried comforted him but it didn’t kill the fears he had. After driving for close to twenty minutes, his phone he quickly brought it out thinking it was the mechanic but it was Shola,

Shola: “Hey,baby!”

Henry: “Hi dear,”he sounded cold.

Shola: “where are you?”

Henry: “On my way back!”

She smiled,

Shola: “ Nice. How did it go?”

As he wanted to reply the passengers called upon his attention and they were face to face with Road Safety Officers.

Henry: “Oh my God!”he dropped the call briskly.

One of the officers directed him to park; he didn’t have a choice. A passenger yelled, “He done be!”

The officer came closer and told him to come out, the officer asked for his papers and he gave him,

“Please sir, I was just carried away! I am a law abiding citizen!”

The officer ignored him as he wrote on his papers, two more officers joined them, “what did he do?”one of them asked,

Officer: “He was on a call while driving and didn’t have his seat belt on!”

The other said, “That’s good. Na to carry am go office na!”

Henry was pleading with them. He saw one that looked like someone from the north and tried speaking Hausa to him but he ignored him.

The officers saw another car shortly after he wasn’t wearing a seat belt. The officer beckoned on him to come down but he refused, the man was fat, he looked stoned,

Fat man: “Come and meet me!” the officer nodded and went to his bonnet and  scribbled down something on a paper and handed it to the man, “what’s this?” he hissed and threw it away, “follow you to where?” he hissed, “You’re mad!”

Henry and others stood watching the drama; he had forgotten his own problem.

Officer: “You weren’t putting on the seat belt and that’s an offence!”

The other officer chimed, “You’ve to follow us and pay the fine!”

Fat Man: “una papa! I didn’t put seat belt, is it your life,eh? Is it? Do you know if I want to die?”

The man screamed.

One of the passengers in Henry’s car said, “O boy,mad men plenty ooo!”

The Road Safety Officers were bemused,

Fat Man: “Shey una wan carry me go office maik una come enter na!”

As one of the officers attempted to enter the car, the man wound up,ignited the engine and sped off attempted to knock the officers off but they fled from the road.

Fat Man: “Idiots!” he cursed.

With anger the officers faced Henry and other offenders after much pleading they collected seven thousand from Henry. When they released Henry, it dawned on him that he was in serious trouble. He was left with a thousand naira.

Prof was going to kill him, he had damaged his bumper and there was no return. He brought out his phone and dialed a number.

Henry: Hello Prof! This is Henry, your new employee

Prof: Hi Henry! No more gugugaga. How has your day been so far?

Henry: Fine Prof but…

Prof cuts in..

Prof: Please take it easy with my car. Do not bash it. You know Nigerian Road is in a state of calamity, I mean a state of Anomy. Make sure you are not driving the road in a state of mercapadance. Because it will be satonic, it will be lukuberious if…

Henry ended the call with annoyance ….

Henry: Chai, this stupid man will use grammar finish me today!

What do you think Henry should do? Should he run or report himself to Prof?  Would Chairman leave the house for good?

READ ALSO:  Alexa.com – A misleading daily ranking Guide … we discovered lots of errors

… Stay Tuned For Episode 15 (You don’t wanna Miss this!)AdeLove StoriesPremier Naija Inspirational Blog!

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151 thoughts on “(Episode 14) Mr Henry, the Captain Nigeria – Hilarious!

  1. He shouldn’t run, he should repair the car with the money he has made… really enjoying this prof part cos he’s English is wow, can’t stop laughing. Chairman might leave the house though….

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  2. Hello ALC&Fs,

    A fine afternoon to everyone.

    Giving the two choices he is better offf reporting himself to prof, Prof would get over it, the grammar is initial gra-gra…lol.

    Nope chief will remain, but it would be a bumpy ride in wait for him.

    Great work there…..

    Up & Forward

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  3. He should go and meet prof…he can’t kill him.
    What’s my business if chairman leaves for good…evil pelsin # in jenifa’s voice

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  4. Henry should explain tinz to prof…..running away is Not d best nd not d solution…as 4 chairman, first lady and bridget….we dey here dey wait 4 d outcome.

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  5. He shud report to Prof. The man will even b more pleased that he ad the courage to tell him the honest truth… As for chairman, he cup go soon full. He shud fix his house before it gets too late.

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  6. running will not solve the problem, henry should drive home first and tell shola what happen to him maybe she will help him with 3thousand to complete prof money.

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  7. He should report himself as for chairman and the first lady they will end up in quarrel and nothing will happen between them after all chief have satisfy himself with Bridget

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  8. Henry should report himself to Prof. At most the money for the damage should be deducted from him daily. Chairman might end up leaving the house; his wife isn’t giving him any breathing space.

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  9. At dis point henry has no choice than report himself to chairman, but d outcome is not predictable, as there is no money n damage was don to the car. I believe chairman man wld b lenient on him….

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  10. henry should just go and report to prof and if possible he should take along some of prof colleague to plead with him,chairman should try to settle with firstlady just to keep his home safe.

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  11. henry should report to prof and liase with him I know God ll let prof av pity on him and chairman will not leave the house for good.

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  12. Professor with English-speaking grammar that can not be verified in the dictionary.i laughed my heart out, is really entertaining.
    Chairman can not pack out of his house.
    Henry should go and repiar prof cab, and take responsibility for his action.

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  13. He shoudn’t run away jare… He should report himself to the Proof, he might took pity on him.. As for the chairman, his pay back time is near

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  14. Henry u better don’t go on d run,u shuld jejeli go and report urslf to prof d gram marian. Jus tell him in his hands,u commit urslf*lmao*anyway plead sincerely and let it show on u,am sure prof won’t kill u 4 it sha. But na wa o,bridget of all pple self na wayo friend to firstlady. Na bola own I tink say bad,I no knw say worst self still dey. Well serves dem all right,she tink say she don c her patner in secret ni bt na failure she go carry cum. It depends,if she doesn’t give chairman rest of mind,he may vacate d house 4 good and luckily b wit bola instead of snake bridget.

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  15. Henry shud simply report himself to chairmen………… Na waoooooooooooo bridget is very wicked oooooooooo…………chairman will leave d house if first lady keep triubling him

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  16. Henry shud simply report himself to chairmen………… Na waoooooooooooo bridget is very wicked oooooooooo…………chairman will leave d house if first lady keep troubling him

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  17. Henry shud simply report himself to prof………… Na waoooooooooooo bridget is very wicked oooooooooo…………chairman will leave d house if first lady keep troubling him

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  18. Henry shud simply report himself to prof………… Na waoooooooooooo bridget is very wicked oooooooooo…………chairman will leave d house if first lady keep troubling him and first lady shld take am easy…….

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  19. The best option for Henry is to borrow money from Shola and settle Prof, the next day, he will repair the car and can also repay the money he borrowed.As for Chairman, First Lady and Bridget, The law of Karma will soon visit them.

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  20. Henry should use the remaining money to repair the bumper and then explain things to Prof instead of running away, Prof might get angry but will give him a second chance. Chairman will leave his house again for first lady

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  21. Henry should simply go and submit/report himself to Prof. Nothing to do again since it’s already late or better still call his lady to help with the money so that he can pay prof.

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  22. Prof is a complete comedian,see vocab. Anyway,Henry should go & report himself to prof & explain how it happened. There is no need running. No,chairman will not leave the house.

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  23. Henry should better not run ooooo bcos it will be satonic just like the prof said…. Lolz….. Chairman will not leave the house…

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  24. Sola is the answer, she has to provide the balance then Henry should prepare to bid prof farewell………as for the notorious womanizer, habitual perpetual adultery chairman & his Jessibel of a wife let’s wait for their tragedy end

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  25. I THINK HENRY WILL REPORT HIMSELF TO PROF. AND CHAIRMAN WILL HAVE TO PLEAD TO HIS WIFE. AND I PERCEIVE FIRST LADY GOING FOR HENRY BACK.

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  26. He should not run o,cos running will not help. Hr should find a means of repairing d car. As for d chairman,I don’t think he will leave for good. Nice.

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  27. Lol!, no be small grammar Henry go hear oooo!. From one problem to d other, he shd just go to prof to explain himself and try to make up for the loss.

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  28. This is wahala ooh. Henry only you? He should better report to prof to avoid another wahala. Chairman is still enjoying his life with Bola.

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  29. Running wont be the solution, he should go to prof and explain to him all that happen. No Chairman cannot leave his house for good.

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  30. Adelove Adelove, U Av Made My Day So Sweet O Adelove, Dats D Song Av Made 4 U Guys Short Bt Sweet. Ans: Well Henry Shuld Go And Tel Prof No Mater Wat He Shuld Nt Ran O Ranning Wil Mk Things Worst O, I Think Wat Chairman Was Doing To His Wif Is Bad He Jst Keep Her At Home As Doll Wel I Think Dat Is God Purnishment 4 Firstlady 4 Treating Henry Dat Way. Chairman Wil Leave D House. Adelove Plz Don’t In One Day Of Think To Stop Dis Story Bloge Bcus U Wil Left Somany People Heart Broken Bcus I Av Invited Less Dan 11 People On Dis Blog So Plz God Is Ur Strengt We Al Love U

    Like

  31. Since Henry is no more having money on him, he should report himself to Prof while Chairman should try to pet his wife.

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  32. henry should go and report himself and I think will not leave cos he does not love Bridget nor bola he is just having a good time with them lol

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  33. He should just go and report himself to prof no matter what he won’t kill him..
    If the first lady disturb chairman too much he should just live the house for her.

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  34. Na wa o. Some people that call themselves friends. Henry should better report himself than to run and as for chairman, he is not leaving his home for anything in the world… This episode funny die.

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  35. Henry should kal Shola nd explain d situation to her, am sure she will help him, he can do d Bumper nd all d necessary tinz dat has to be done. Bridget is not
    a good friend @all. Chairman nd 1st lady, abeg take am easy ooooo.

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  36. Herny should go and report himself and also plead , and I pray d prof will pity him,prof and too much grammar did got me laughing, chairman will not leave the house he Will stay with d first lady and he is willing to make her happy ,after staying away from her for somes day.

    Like

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